Visions of Aestia

Here we go with the second screen from the character generator; this is the revised “select race” step.

This has an effect on the ability scores, which is currently not shown. The “Description” area collapses down in the same fashion as the “Racial Traits” area, under the assumption that anyone who has been through this screen before will largely ignore it.

The clan/bloodline combo box, currently disabled, would be for selecting a clan, bloodline, or subrace as appropriate for a given race and campaign setting.

Okay so not alone but she was using one of those four wheel plastic car thingies, which would (and has) tilted when more than a token amount of weight is put on it… so she DID walk! All the way from the kitchen to us, with a big grin on her face as she wobbled her way over to us, proud as can be!

Just as I was leaving to catch the bus, I pulled the stroller from out of Cecily’s grip - it was folded and she almost pulled it over top of her - and even with it out of her hand she stood there, alone, in the middle of the hall, and just grinned at me and clapped. Not even a wobble! And while waiting for a taxi home I walked her around with my hands in hers, and she let go of all but my thumb and kept on walking. YAY!!…. uhh… yikes? Time to buy a leash! :O

John asked me to repost my day so here I am. I don’t really feel like whinging again, as my mood is improved, but I suppose now it will sound like a rational tally of my day rather than a big whine.

My day starts with a quick shower, then feeding Cecily, feeding myself (unless the counter needs picked up, then I notice there’s food on the dishes so I have to rinse those, then oh wait there’s some stuff on the table that she can reach so….> … err. Feeding myself eventually, then picking up Cecily’s toys in three rooms and the hall, vacuuming her room, the hall, the bathroom (where I typically get distracted by cleaning up the counters and bath), the living room, and the kitchen. Kitchen floor gets mopped every other day unless the sink is full of dishes
Hem. I digress. Then I put all the toys back on the floor, play with Cec for at least a half hour, go online to help with the mums msn group I started and run with three other ladies, put Cec down for a nap (here’s where I sit down to catch a breath for the 30 mins she sleeps), make her lunch, have lunch myself, vacuum or mop up the mess she’s made….

Now noon rolls around.

Anyway, thats my mornings. I don’t exactly laze around the rest of the day… we go to get groceries or some various errand like paying the bills, or today where I was left sweating and panting before I even got to my destination (ever try to carry a 10kg 10 month old and a 20kg stroller onto a bus alone?) of a bi-polar group so I could talk about my depression with sympathetic ears and not over-stress my hubby with every problem… which I’m failing to do it seems.

Just had an IM conversation with Ama that has improved my mood considerably. It only goes to underscore the importance of communication in a relationship.

She deleted her posts from this morning - shame. I could have used them as a reminder of what she is going through when I’m not there.

I’m leaving mine up - it’s a little painful to leave it out there, but it’ll remind her of what I’m going through when I’m upset.

Essays 1743: font by John Stracke

This is a realy nice role-playing font. I might want to play with using it as the body font for the Aestia book.

Well, there are good days and there are bad days. The good days are far more numerous than the bad days, but the bad days are still awful.

WARNING: excessive negativity in this post. I will try to balance it with a positive post when my mood lightens. This is just how I feel on my bad days, not how I feel all the time.

On the bad days:
When I am sick, I am told that it’s all in my head or that I’m trying to upstage someone who is really sick.
When I am depressed, I am told to get over it. The words “pity party” have been used.
When I do something stupid - which happens quite often - I get dressed down in front of Cecily. This morning she was looking back and forth between me and Mommy trying to figure out what was going on.

I work an eight-hour day, come home and spend two hours watching my daughter; I also watch her all day on the weekends. I come straight home after work and do not go out by myself on the weekends. If I did not run my games I would not have a social life.

I also spend up to 10 hours a week maintaining and expanding my computing skills so I can continue to get the best paying consulting gigs. Most of this is through technical reading but I also have programming and 300 e-mail messages a day from various mailing lists.

I’ve never been treated like a king nor have I ever asked that - and I am very aware of my personal failings. I constantly promise to spend an hour working on chores and frequently do not follow through. I sleep in later than I should, and cannot do the dishes, laundry, or vacuuming correctly. I am not even capable of feeding Cecily without major incident.

I get depressed, I guess, because I want a word of encouragement or sympathy now and again but do things so poorly and inconsistently at home that instead I constantly frustrate Ama. When she frowns, it feels like a bottomless pit opens up beneath my feet, and when she is angry all the color runs out of my life. Here is the most wonderful, beautiful creature I have ever met and yet I do nothing but upset her. All I ever want to do with my life is make her smile, and yet I cannot do the smallest things that would make her happy.

Maybe I’ll feel better after lunch.

DELETE I give up

DELETE I give up