Why do they do it?
“This is where I wish your family and Rachel’s were here as you all miss out on so much… Anyway, I feel badly that you all miss out on so much…especially the holidays, time for making those family memories…Cecily is missing out on so much…I realize that you did not grow up with grandparents and john didn’t have contact with his very much…but we are real grandparents…cecily is also missing out on knowing what real cousins and aunts and uncles are…and I
disagree that it is the same, with you there…there is not that tight bonding…at least zedok, knows his aunts and uncles here and has a “family” so I wish you and john would think about comming back…before cecily is too old…to care…”
The christmas card we finally got from my lovely mother-in-law was basically the same thing. What kind of xmas card gives you a major guilt trip? I opened the mail thinking yay, a card, we never get those, and its full of a short version of above… then today I get the above email (condenced to show the depressing bits, the rest is all about how much fun their having baking for christmas…). I’m still crying… what right do they have? SHE can visit, without any trouble, we’re not stopping her…. we can’t leave until we get residency or we lose our visa’s, and on top of that its a pain in the ass to fly with a child on a 24 hour + flight. Does she think we’re doing it to spite them? Does anyone fucking care how depressed I am I have no family on christmas and I definitely don’t need a reminder? I have a friend thats dropping by out of pure pity (she made it clear she only has time for a few minutes), and the rest of the day is just us three - thats depressing enough without help thank you. I’m used to big to-do’s on christmas with family and close friends, I don’t need to be reminded that I have a now hugely extended family having a good old time without me. And I certainly don’t need to hear about how Cecily will be missing out, as if we’re purposly keeping them out of our life…. America is horrible now, especially for bringing up kids; there’s no way I’m bringing her back there to live. And no one is bloody stopping HER from visiting so that Cec CAN meet her grandparents.
Damnit i’m too angry to finish and I cant see the screen through my tears. Why do people do things without thinking how it will hurt someone? How does us living away from home give HER the fucking right to make me feel like shit?