Anniversary 4
Four years ago today, I was married. Of course Ama and I had been in a committed relationship for several years prior to this event, but things still changed.
Not the things we feared might change - those continue to evolve at their normal rate. No, the things that changed were deeper in many ways.
My faith in Ama’s love became unbounded. In making such a public and premeditated pronouncement of her devotion to our lives together, she made it much harder to back out of that commitment.
In addition to the moral and spiritual obligations that we had already built between us, we also appended a variety of legal and social obligations that had nothing to do with our profound love for one another and everything to do with how other people viewed us. But still it had an effect, in that, in so much as can be measured, I became more responsible.
(Those who know me now may wonder at how I could ever have been less responsible - perhaps Ama will share.)
When I am upset, or tired, or finding it difficult to make it through the day, it is the thought of Ama waiting for me at home that empowers me. When I am stressed by work or money matters or any of the hundred of life’s annoyances, the memory of my beloved’s smile, or her touch, is enough to dispel my burdens.
True, we fight. True, we have sorely tested one another. It is not marriage that keeps us together, it is love. For all our travails, I dare not imagine life without Ama, and my faith in her love and talent and genuine beauty only deepens over time. I would not trade even the worst day of these four years for anything. It is all to be treasured, even the tears and the pain, because it is time spent with her.