Furious
I’ve taken some time to cool down, but I’m still furious. I decided to post this so hubby can see (can’t get a hold of him) but also to reassure other parents.
I took Cecily to see the doctor today because she had an unusual rash all over her torso and has been acting cranky and not her usual self. I had always liked this doctor until now! Cecily always goes into hysterics when we see a doctor lately, any doctor - I’m not sure why, but I don’t tolerate it: IE when she’s screaming and crying I still hold her still for the examination and do not acknowledge the tears; I cross my arms around her and hold her head for the ears and throat, and hold her on my lap for the rest. Tell me if I’m wrong, but not only from what I’ve read about child care, but also what I’ve been told by plunket and my own experience with MY child this is the correct procedure.
The doctor decided my way is unacceptable, and the entire visit was spent with him giving me a lecture on child rearing (fair enough) that was totally inaccurate, since he obviously has no clue how I treat my child outside of his office. He told me a big long story about a lady who’s two (over 3yrs) children run amok and destroy his office, and all the mother does is sit there docile and says meekly “please dont do that, no honey put that down” etc. Um excuse me, my child is 16 months old, she’s sitting on my lap crying because she’s afraid of the doctor, I’m holding her gently but firmly and telling her no when she asks to get down. What exactly is the correlation here????
So in between these lectures he’s examining Cecily and saying in a sharp tones to her “I don’t care” and “thats enough” and things to that affect, which has only made her even more hysterical, not to mention him roughly pushing her head to the side despite my firm and successful grip to keep her still. I could actually feel him shoving her head into me! He’s actually telling me I need to use a sharp tone and tell her this is unacceptable behaviour and that she needs to sit there and “Shut up”
I will admit its unacceptable behaviour… for a child, not a toddler. YES she is bright YES she is tall for her age YES she looks older but for goddess sake she is just 16 months old she has irrational fears its a natural part of development and yelling at her to behave and moving her around roughtly is NOT the acceptable way to handle it. Neither is sitting there meekly while she runs away from me and refusing treatment - which, as I showed above, I did not do. How am I expected to earn her trust and love when I do not acknowledge her very real fears and needs??? So what if its a little difficult. NEVER have I had a problem with other doctors we have seen, they all know it just happens and that she will grow out of it with firm but loving direction. They’ve always been patient and reassuring ME its okay she’s making a fuss, taking their time to ease Cecily into the examination rather than just jumping in on her, talking to her gently so she will calm down - which she normally does.
Oh I’m so MAD! How dare someone treat my child this way!